Kicking Frogs

Carmen Ohio - 15 Days To Go…

Oh come let’s sing Ohio’s praise

And songs to Alma Mater raise

While our hearts rebounding thrill

With joy which death alone can still

Summer’s heat or winter’s cold

The seasons pass the years will roll

Time and change will surely show

How firm thy friendship … O-HI-O!

These jolly days of priceless worth

By far the gladdest days on earth

Soon will pass and we not know

How dearly we love Ohio

We should strive to keep thy name

Of fair repute and spotless fame

So in college halls we’ll grow

And love thee better … O-HI-O!

Though age may dim our mem’ry’s store

We’ll think of happy days of yore

True to friend and frank to foe

As sturdy sons of Ohio

If on seas of care we roll

Neath blackened sky or barren shoal

Thoughts of thee bid darkness go

Dear Alma Mater…O-HI-O!

I WANT

The long sweltering summer is but a bead of sweat now on my battered brow

Mars burns brightly in the southeastern sky, yet I find myself wanting

I want 50 degrees, a wind chill, and a crystal clear blue sky

I want a Fall Saturday in Ohio Stadium

I want to get up at 6 AM, beer in hand by 7, and up at the Stadium tailgating with the other hardcores by 8

I want a bratwurst, I want coolers filled with ice cold beer, I want four tables packed with cheese, lunch meat, veggies, pasta salad, chips, salsa, Mexican bean-dip and much, much, more

I want to basically fill up on beer

I want to stand in line cross-legged for 30 minutes about to burst at a Porto-John

And I want to see the steam rise when I take a good pee

I want to piss behind a car door

I want SWAT teams of cops swarming around in shifts like the SS

I want to see Eric Schmidt and his four kegs of beer survive the weekend

And I want to see how he explains himself the day after

I want to be drunk off my ass with an “F Michigan” t-shirt on

I want people to ask “What the fuck is a Hoosier?”

I want to yell “Ann Arbor is a whore”

And I want to acknowledge a fellow buckeye who’ll give be a hearty I-O in return for my O-H

I want the band to come to my tailgate playing the greatest fight song in the world

I want to shotgun three beers on the walk to the stadium

I want to see Michelle cry at everything

I want to walk into Ohio Stadium, see the grass for the first time, feel like Rudy’s dad and mumble to myself : “This is the most beautiful sight these tired old eyes have ever seen.”

I want to feel the chill that goes up my spine with The Best Damn Band in the Land strikes that first note

I want to yell when the drum major touches the plume on the back bend

I want to pump my fist to the fight song

I want to see Jennifer answer the question “How many quarters in a football game?”

I want to get ready to Hang on Sloopy

I want to stand on those cold south stands for 4 hours with a million ups and downs of joy and agony with every play

I want to make myself hoarse from yelling “O-H”

I want to yell at the referees

I want to do the asshole chant

Asssss-hoooole

I want to see Christie and her daughter storm the field.

I want to eat 4 dollar hot dogs and soft pretzels with cheese

I want to hear the Buckeye Battle Cry

I want to see the Bucks, I want to see the Bucks

I want to hear the band play “Brown Eyed Girl” when we get ahead by 4 touchdowns.

And I want to see cups of Coke complemented with Captain Morgan flying from all directions from the student section

I want to see the Script Ohio and watch the entire stadium celebrate

I want to win tickets from the Corner Office

I want to see the Neutron Man shake his groove thing (RIP - Orlas King - “The Neutron Man”)

I want to high five all my friends and every other person around me after the Buckeyes score

I want to score

I find myself wanting

I find myself wanting so much

“F Michigan”

And bring on the National Champion, OHIO STATE BUCKEYES